I’m often asked what the funniest experience I’ve had as a father has been. This is tough, K doesn’t want me sharing the REALLY good stuff, it’s typically embarrassing for T or myself…
That said, I’m in the nursery changing the then 6 month old Wee Baby T. Now you probably assume this is a blow-out or fire hose situation – oh to be so lucky. I just put him into his new onesie and lift him from the change table when the dog walks in. T can’t handle the excitement and starts kicking and thrashing, somehow landing a series of kicks and punches to my testicles and throat simultaneously.
Reeling in agony and unable to scream for help I drop to my knees, still holding him upright. I set him down in a seated position, but his core strength and balance are still developing, so he pitches forward wildly, the only thing I can do to prevent him from crashing to the carpet is to throw my face in the way. As his forehead careens into my nose I feel a flood of warmth spread across my face. As blackness creeps in from my peripheral vision I look up to see him smiling, turn, and slowly crawl to the open door.
I begin to pull myself after him in the world’s slowest foot race. I know that once he hits the hardwood he’ll be gone like a shot, so I’ve GOT to get there first. Fortunately just as he reached the threshold K stepped out from having her shower and scooped him up, took one look at me and said “If you’re really that tired you can take a nap…”
I took a nap.